My Big Girl

My baby is 5. Even as I type it it doesn't seem possible. It seems like yesterday we had her. I think back to those days after having her and all the feelings come back. Not so great ones..... she had breathing problems most of you know. She was amazing but fear over took our lives. It took 2 of us to feed her. Me holding her and Eric at my side with the oxygen for when she quit breathing. Not if but when. A happy but scary day.... We gave all the monitors back when she was 7 months old and my life has never been the same. I had to make the choice to trust God with my little girl. I prayed every night and morning that she would be breathing when I went in to get her up. Imagine the days she slept in and I slept in ...... the fear I had was crazy. Every mom out there can relate to that fear. But what a testimony I have. I grew in the Lord so much in this time. Our daughter is living and breathing (talking all the time). You would never know that she had any issues at all.

To My Ansley: I love everything about you. I love the way you already have your own mind (that's an understatement). I love how you hug my neck and tell me I'm the bestest momma ever. I love how you have to give everyone a million hugs and kisses before they leave. I love to listen to your prayers at night ... I can picture God smiling at all the hilarious things you say. You have such a huge heart. I love to listen to you sing and watch you dance! Your favorite song is Mighty to Save and every time you hear it on your radio you make me run in your room and listen to it too. You are a lover of people! You are such an encourager! I love how you love your daddy! Most of all I love your laugh! I am so blessed to get to spend my days with you. I will miss you so much next year. I know you will enjoy school so much. But its bittersweet to me. I am so proud to be your mom. I just cant believe your five!!!! I love you so much and I'm so excited because I know God has big plans for you and I'm so blessed I get to watch! I know you will have a great birthday there are so many people who love you too!

Isaiah 41:13

13 For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the Lord your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

This is Ansley's bible verse she says every night when she goes to bed. She heard me say to Eric last night I was scared to have my staples out. She grabs my hands and tells me "Momma don't you remember Isaiah 41:13" ..... and she proceeds to tell me the verse. And I cant tell you how much the smile on her face and the picture of my God holding my hand was so comforting. Sometimes I think this is never going to end but everyday I'm getting better. I cant wait for the day when I'm glad I did this :)
I actually drove myself to the Dr today and I am now staple free! Yeah!!!!! It wasn't so bad. I had a picture in my head that they took them out with needle nose pliers and just pulled. They don't :) I'm so excited ..... I get to take a real shower tomorrow night. Another Yeah!!!! And I found out today that I get to take these nasty, tight, ugly (I think you get how I feel about them) white socks off for a whole 8 hrs a day. I asked about them last week at my visit and they said I have to wear them for six long weeks. They left out the part where I get to take them off for part of the day! Another Yeah!!!!! I ditched the walker (complete with tennis balls on the feet - you know your jealous) and Im now walking with my cane again. Yeah!!!!
Its crazy I started this blog thing for Ansley and its pretty much all about me. So hopefully since I'm getting better I wont have much to write about me!
I need to say thank you to all the people who have helped my little family! Wow I'm blessed! Eric is doing much better and Ansley is such a little encourager. She always tells me how good I'm walking and is always eager to be my helper. Words can not express how much I love those two!
I hope you all have a wonderful week! Blessings to you!

Prayers Please!!!!

Again this is going to be short and sweet. I don't know why but my head doesn't quite work right yet. Its getting better. I can watch TV and focus but I cant read yet :( The post below took me a whole hour to type. I know crazy huh? I'm typing now not for me but for Eric. He saw a Dr last night and his blood pressure was 178 over 115. That's high!!!!!! He went because we thought he had shingles. He does! You get them from stress but you have to have them treated with steroids and antibiotics. So 140$ on prescriptions later hes on the road to recovery. I'm not doing so good either. I go see the Dr tomorrow to see if everything is ok. Mentally I'm doing better today rather than a few days ago. It hit me that this is going to take a really long time to get better. I know some of you are saying well Duh!!!(that's a bad word too) But to me I thought it wouldn't hurt so bad and maybe not take as long. I just want to be normal again! Anyways I'm rambling about me and that's not what this is about. Eric ----- he needs your prayers! He has been the most amazing husband and it makes me so sad that he has to keep all this inside to the point hes made himself really sick. God is bigger than all this!!!!! Love to you all!!!

Home!

This is going to be short and sweet :) I got home last night about 8:30 or so. Thank you for all the prayers! I have had issues with pain meds all this time but I am going to make it :) Sorry to all the friends that called before the surgery and I didn't call you back. I love you all but I really couldn't talk about it................ not really sure if I can yet. But please know I'm not ungrateful!!!!! I have gotten all your messages and cherish them all.
Heidi